Greener Pastures.

Its been months since my last post. I have been, once again, caught up with work and life itself. Somehow it is really different when you are working again plus juggling with the daily routines with your everyday. Now this begins my OFW Diary.

I left the Philippines a few days ago to search for a much "greener pasture" in the arid lands of the Middle East. And with this great leap forward, I made a huge sacrifice of leaving my son behind. Both my parents are OFWs and I am not new to this scenario anymore. As a kid, I don't recall crying my heart out cos my Mom or Dad was leaving, they left me when I was only 3 months old. All I can remember was having these "strangers" come and visit me at least once or twice a year. And as I grew up, I told myself that I didn't want that to happen to me when the time comes that I'd become a parent.

Months before my departure, I have consciously conditioned myself to the upcoming situation. Every night before we sleep, I lay awake crying my heart out. And then that one night came, I finally had the guts to sit with him and talk. My son sat in front of me, looking at me with his big round eyes. I had the feeling that he sensed that I had something to tell him.

I told him that I was leaving soon and that he should be good boy while I will be away. The first words that came out of his mouth was, "Upod, baby!" (Upod is an Ilonggo word for COME or to come). At that moment I was surprised that my son understood what I meant at his young age. I just felt that pang of sadness bursting inside of me and I just cried for the nth time.

Leaving my son was the only choice that I had. Sure I had an online job and I work at home, but what I earn isn't enough to sustain us both and well, I had no savings at all. This was the choice I had on my grasp and opportunities like this don't come around often. I had to grab it before its too late.

Even if I couldn't handle the airport drama pretty well, I did my best to hold back the tears that I had left to cry. All I could think of is his smell, his laugh, his little hands, his warmth and the look on his big round eyes. If I submit myself to my weakness of being away from him, I might never have this opportunity come my way again. But I keep my mindset positive...

Positive. Positive.

This is for his future and nothing else.

This is for us.

This is for Wan.

Mommy Moments Thursday -- Here Comes the Baby!

Another Mommy Moment on a Thursday!

I was actually overdue for 2 weeks when I decided to have an Induction of Labor. Besides the fact that I already felt excited to see my son, I feared the fact that he might eat his poop or otherwise called Meconium Aspiration. I think you know the feeling of being exhausted and excited at the same time -- well, that's exactly how I felt! I checked in January 10 and underwent 3 days of induced labor without even undergoing the actual labor. I felt no pain at all and I only got as far as 4cm. I finally met my little Wan on January 14, 2009 at 9:47 pm via Caesarean Section.

I saw him the next day after I got fully rested and all. When I finally got to hold him inside the breastfeeding room, our first meeting was breathless. It was surreal. I couldn't believe it myself that I am actually holding my own son -- my very own flesh and blood. The first thing I did was check his whole body -- his fingers, his toes, his eyes, his skin, his ears -- then I smelled him. He was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my lifetime. I knew it, I was in love.

Wan was discharged a day after I got out. He had to stay for awhile until his being yellowish subsided. His first night went well. He wasn't a colicky baby. He cries when he's hungry. He sleeps most of the time. To sum it all up, I never had a hard time on him. I did not get him used to carrying and rocking him when he sleeps. Instead, he sleeps on my chest while I pat his back.

Motherhood caught me off guard. But I have to be tough. I have to be strong for that little boy who's counting on me. I discovered the world of parenting on my own without a partner and a yaya to help me through. It was a challenge that I soon got to love along the way. I was hands on and even if I got tired, just seeing him sleep makes me forget about the worries, the fears and the anxieties that I have. Yet, indeed they can't be babies forever.

Its just priceless seeing him grow up each day and not missing out on his sloppy firsts.

He's already in the world of terrible TWO and one curious George!

Having my son is the most beautiful accident that has ever happened to me... it was a blessing in disguise. It has surely changed my outlook and gave my life a 360 degree turn. I already found my reason to wake up each day with much enthusiasm, to strive harder and to never give up the battles that lie ahead of us.

There will be good days and bad days, but we'll get through. =)

I have found my piece of heaven on earth and the only person who can love me forever.

Happy Mother's Day!

Motherhood is a lifetime job without pay --

you endure 9 months carrying a human being in your belly,

wake up in the wee hours of the morning,

deal with their tantrums, clean their mess,

and never sleep when they are sick.

With these in tow, you cannot resign.

Then you'll unconsciously forget about yourself...

you'd careless with the way you look, wouldn't mind the latest fashion trend,

gain weight and yes, you will feel ugly.

But when you see those eager little eyes looking at you with that toothless grin,

all these insecurities just melts away like ice.

And suddenly, you are the most beautiful woman in the whole world!

Nobody said that motherhood was easy,

but you wouldn't trade the the sloppy kisses, little hugs,

the beautiful memories and yes, the unconditional love

for anything in the world!

To my Mom,

Thank you so much for all the patience and the support

that you have given me through the years of my existence.

Our relationship has always been love-hate

and we argue most of the time,

but now I understand you perfectly.

And I love you even more!

Happy Mother's Day

to all the SUPERMOMS I know!

Cheers!

♥

Mommy Moments Thursday -- Noir et Blanc

Another Mommy Moment on the last Friday of April 2011:

Noir et Blanc

I decided to post Wan's first pics when he was only a few days old.
I was running through some old photos and I stumbled upon this.

It just amazes me how time flies.

Now here is my little boy on his black and white outfit.

So how did your Mommy Moment go?

Cheers!

xxoxx

Mommy Moments Thursday -- RAINBOW BRIGHTS!

Another Mommy Moment Thursday!!!

RAINBOW BRIGHTS

The topic was just awesome and here is our entry.

I collected all of Wan's pics over the past months wearing his bright colorful outfit.

I always loved BRIGHT COLORS for my little boy.

It just makes him stand out!

Another is his collection of multicolored kicks.

Yes, I am a shoeaholic Mum.

And my little boy takes it from me.

Hehe

Wan's a Book Worm at heart as well.

These are his personal faves.

We are just gaga over Eric Carle.

We love his books so much especially the bright colorful pictures!

Happy Mommy Moments!

P.S.

I am sorry for the super late post.

I thought it was already published.

It turned out that I hit the SAVE AS DRAFT button.

Cheers to all the Super Mummies!

Enjoy!

Mommy Moments Thursday -- The Birthday Gallery

Here's my Mommy Moment entry for today...

This is Wan's Birthday Gallery.

He was born on the 14th day of January 2009.

This is the most significant day of his life that I don't want to miss.

And every year, I am thankful for the wonderful blessings

that God has been giving this little Wantonball...

He clearly appreciated his 2nd birthday.
He clapped and danced when everyone sang to him.

And yes, he huffed and puffed and blew out his candle.

I am very much thankful that he's growing

smart and healthy as each day goes.

Its actually his day today...

he's already 2 years and 3 months.

And that makes me one proud Mummy

just like all of you Yummy Mums out there!

Cheers!

Much Love!

oxxxo

Mommy Moments Thursday -- Congratulations!

Its Thursday and I am just amazed on how quick the days are.

Now this is my 3rd Mommy Moment entry -- CONGRATULATIONS!

I never expected how quick my little Wan can learn things.

He really just amazes me everyday.

At exactly 24 months, just a week after his birthday he already knows how to wear his

Crocs and his shoes.

Although he wears it the wrong way, I am still one proud mum!

I have actually observed this from my nephews when they

were on the same age bracket as Wan,

they too wore their shoes and slippers this way.

At 26 months to date, Wan already can say...

DOG

HORSE

GOAT

COW

MUMMY

PAPA (my dad)

MAMA (my mom)

PAT (his Uncle)

BOOK

TOTEP (my nephew)

ELMO

CAR

TRUCK

BUS

TASH (taxi)

FOOD

MILK

"MUT"

(hamut = ilonggo word for MABANGO)

CAT

"KAT" (or LAKAT = ALIS, GO)

BABATH

POO POO

ICE (his Tita)

SASA (his Ninang)

APPLE

SHOES

FISH

BACKPACK

WOW

SEXY

Yehey!

Congratulations Wantonball!

We're taking it one day at a time.

And we're hoping for alot more words to come.

Happy Mommy Moments, dear Mummies!

Cheers!

=)

Mommy Moments Thursday -- WHITE out!

Yipeee.

Its THURSDAY and I would like to share our Mommy Moment for this week...

WHITE OUT!

These are my most favorite Mommy Moment of Wan in WHITE.

Taken in Atlantis Hotel in Dubai during our Friday the 13th Getaway

November 13, 2009

Enjoying the most loved Dinagyang Festival in Iloilo

January 24, 2010

The funkiest asthmatic dude ever!

February 18, 2011

Fooling around with the boys.

March 14, 2011

Cheers!

What's your Mommy Moment?

bumble bee down.

I found him asleep early.

He had a very busy day today filled with running and chasing.

Plus the fact he can now open the door knob!

We just have to lock him in since he's getting good at sneaking out. =)

I was just surprised he fell asleep while he watched Mutya on TV.

Sleep tight, my little Wantonball!

Sweet dreams.

I love you loads.

Love,

Mum

sleepless on a Tuesday.

I have been awake since 11pm yesterday up to now, with only 2 hours of sleep from 8am to 11am. Its not another insomnia Tuesday, no. It was my exam day with this VA company that I am applying for and it kinda gave me the jitters since I am very much nervous. I have been bumming for a 2 months now and I do not like it at all. Its like I am slowly losing my ego again. So here I am scouting for greener pastures that can allow me to work in the convenience of my own home. Going back, the exam scared the hell out of me because of the fact that I wasn't at all prepared and my mind set wasn't on a focus. The exam went well, I had answers to the module review quiz and the last part of the exam was a 300-word Article Writing with a very striking question to answer...

What honest mistake have you committed that turned out to be favorable to you?

It almost took me around 20 minutes to fully digest the question. I thought for awhile on what, out of the thousands, particular honest mistake that I have done that turned out to be favorable in the long run. Think. Thinking some more. I was squeezing my sleepy brain franticly and finally, I went on.

If you ask me what honest mistake I committed in the 26 years of my existence was becoming pregnant. I think anyone could agree that once you become a parent, your whole life will change. Getting married and having a child was in my plans, but I never expected it to be this early and that I'd end up to be a single parent for a fact. With this unexpected 360-degrees turn, I had mixed emotions that just seems to be overwhelming. I remember crying most of time over the fact that I have nobody to comfort me in the most crucial stage a woman can undergo.

But then when Wan came out everything changed. All these negative emotions just vanished within a sec. I finally met the one person whom I know will love me forever, even if I've gotten fat or not as beautiful as I was. Even if admit that patience is not my virtue, staying up late until the wee hours of the morning because he is sick, not having the chance to buy something for yourself anymore, or putting up with wild mood swings, I have no choice since it comes with the whole package -- embrace the storm and love every minute of it.

Even if I know that raising your child alone is one of the hardest job anyone can have, I will embrace it and I will keep going. I already have something to keep me going. Because even if you are tired and weary and almost giving up, his sloppy kisses just melts it away and actually, I loved how it changed me.

Mommy Moments Thursday -- PURPLE!

Since Thursday is my favorite day of the week, I decided to make it as my Mommy Moments Day! Yey! Its my first time to join this exciting venture along with fab Mummy bloggers like me, especially sis Sarah for inspiring me to start blogging again. So my first week starts with PURPLE and here are my Mommy Moments in PURPLE!

Wan at 5 months old back in July 5, 2009 when he first met Barney

Fooling around with Ninang Sasa after my first birthday January 2010

Helping Mom do the chores February 2010

Dinner date with Ninang Grace and Tita Lee around July 2010

Its just amazing how the time flies.

Cheers!

Rock 'n' Roll madness

I have this "thing" for rockstars, skulls, stars and tattoos. It started back in the 90s when I couldn't get over MTV back in the 1st Grade. Thus I got to know Blind Melon, Nirvana and such. My fondness grew when I stepped into 5th grade and was introduced to Alanis Morissette. The list just went on and on up until highschool and yes, college.

The moment I knew I was pregnant, I let Wan listen to my kind of music on my fone's playlist. We listened to Jeff Buckley, The Carpenters, Copeland, Sepultura, Everytime I Die to light and bubbly Feist, Jason Mraz and Jack Johnson. It amazes me how he responded to these while he was inside my tummy.

I remember Pachuca Sunrise by Minus The Bear, whenever he hears it he either kicks or he calms down. Its actually one of those songs that puts him to sleep and one of my personal faves.

And until now I carry that "thing" with me although I am not as updated when it comes to music nowadays. I started collecting these only last year, thrifted and brand new. One of my wishlists was to buy Wan band shirts. And yeah, bit by bit I am now starting these collectibles from shirts to onesies and some of it has been worn by Wan yet. Oh well, my guilty pleasure. =)

Like Saturday never ends.

Saturday! Finally its the weekend! Yay! We woke up late and I couldn't blame the bed weather. Rainy Saturday morning and cuddling under the sheets. Nice, eh? Definitely. My day started with my shop's inbox with queries about the posted items. Then advertise and updating the reserved items. I did some meet ups with two Mummy buyers and a few mummyhood chat. Pretty much my day was smooth and I liked how it started even if I had a thousand thoughts inside my head. Never ending budgeting and figures, more figures. Went home with a Yogart Delight on my hands and hoping that at least it can help me forget about the figuring out for a moment. Little naughty one was wide awake and screaming when I came home. Hyped up as the usual.

I ordered Lasgna and some Pizza Fries for a "lite dinner". He gobbled up the pasta like there's no tomorrow. I even thought he didn't like it all. The fries were gone too.

Wan is eating like a pig and I like it because he's becoming heavier. But the bad part is that he doesn't get chubby at all. Instead, the fats go to his thighs and his tummy. He even looks like he has got a beer belly. Hehehe. After attacking the pasta, he ran to me saying, "Mama, Mama!" and signaling me to get up. He held my hand and led me to his high chair. He finished it all up in a clean slate and all by himself. He didn't sit on his high chair but instead he made his high chair his table while he sat on the sofa. Neat, huh? Although with a bit of mess on the floor and on his face. But he did just fine. The cleanest mess to date. =)

Then he laid on the sofa and finished off the remaining ounces of his milk. Grabbed his cars and played before we hit the bath.

Cleaned and washed up, we tried on some get ups before going to bed. And this is the outcome of it. Wearing his uncle's basketball shoes with his glasses and new hat. He kinda liked wearing these fancy glasses. I dunno why. Its just amazing how he poses spontaneously at the camera these days. I don't have to pressure him anymore. Hehe. He's becoming a camwhore!