Greener Pastures.

Its been months since my last post. I have been, once again, caught up with work and life itself. Somehow it is really different when you are working again plus juggling with the daily routines with your everyday. Now this begins my OFW Diary.

I left the Philippines a few days ago to search for a much "greener pasture" in the arid lands of the Middle East. And with this great leap forward, I made a huge sacrifice of leaving my son behind. Both my parents are OFWs and I am not new to this scenario anymore. As a kid, I don't recall crying my heart out cos my Mom or Dad was leaving, they left me when I was only 3 months old. All I can remember was having these "strangers" come and visit me at least once or twice a year. And as I grew up, I told myself that I didn't want that to happen to me when the time comes that I'd become a parent.

Months before my departure, I have consciously conditioned myself to the upcoming situation. Every night before we sleep, I lay awake crying my heart out. And then that one night came, I finally had the guts to sit with him and talk. My son sat in front of me, looking at me with his big round eyes. I had the feeling that he sensed that I had something to tell him.

I told him that I was leaving soon and that he should be good boy while I will be away. The first words that came out of his mouth was, "Upod, baby!" (Upod is an Ilonggo word for COME or to come). At that moment I was surprised that my son understood what I meant at his young age. I just felt that pang of sadness bursting inside of me and I just cried for the nth time.

Leaving my son was the only choice that I had. Sure I had an online job and I work at home, but what I earn isn't enough to sustain us both and well, I had no savings at all. This was the choice I had on my grasp and opportunities like this don't come around often. I had to grab it before its too late.

Even if I couldn't handle the airport drama pretty well, I did my best to hold back the tears that I had left to cry. All I could think of is his smell, his laugh, his little hands, his warmth and the look on his big round eyes. If I submit myself to my weakness of being away from him, I might never have this opportunity come my way again. But I keep my mindset positive...

Positive. Positive.

This is for his future and nothing else.

This is for us.

This is for Wan.

Mommy Moments Thursday -- Here Comes the Baby!

Another Mommy Moment on a Thursday!

I was actually overdue for 2 weeks when I decided to have an Induction of Labor. Besides the fact that I already felt excited to see my son, I feared the fact that he might eat his poop or otherwise called Meconium Aspiration. I think you know the feeling of being exhausted and excited at the same time -- well, that's exactly how I felt! I checked in January 10 and underwent 3 days of induced labor without even undergoing the actual labor. I felt no pain at all and I only got as far as 4cm. I finally met my little Wan on January 14, 2009 at 9:47 pm via Caesarean Section.

I saw him the next day after I got fully rested and all. When I finally got to hold him inside the breastfeeding room, our first meeting was breathless. It was surreal. I couldn't believe it myself that I am actually holding my own son -- my very own flesh and blood. The first thing I did was check his whole body -- his fingers, his toes, his eyes, his skin, his ears -- then I smelled him. He was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my lifetime. I knew it, I was in love.

Wan was discharged a day after I got out. He had to stay for awhile until his being yellowish subsided. His first night went well. He wasn't a colicky baby. He cries when he's hungry. He sleeps most of the time. To sum it all up, I never had a hard time on him. I did not get him used to carrying and rocking him when he sleeps. Instead, he sleeps on my chest while I pat his back.

Motherhood caught me off guard. But I have to be tough. I have to be strong for that little boy who's counting on me. I discovered the world of parenting on my own without a partner and a yaya to help me through. It was a challenge that I soon got to love along the way. I was hands on and even if I got tired, just seeing him sleep makes me forget about the worries, the fears and the anxieties that I have. Yet, indeed they can't be babies forever.

Its just priceless seeing him grow up each day and not missing out on his sloppy firsts.

He's already in the world of terrible TWO and one curious George!

Having my son is the most beautiful accident that has ever happened to me... it was a blessing in disguise. It has surely changed my outlook and gave my life a 360 degree turn. I already found my reason to wake up each day with much enthusiasm, to strive harder and to never give up the battles that lie ahead of us.

There will be good days and bad days, but we'll get through. =)

I have found my piece of heaven on earth and the only person who can love me forever.

Happy Mother's Day!

Motherhood is a lifetime job without pay --

you endure 9 months carrying a human being in your belly,

wake up in the wee hours of the morning,

deal with their tantrums, clean their mess,

and never sleep when they are sick.

With these in tow, you cannot resign.

Then you'll unconsciously forget about yourself...

you'd careless with the way you look, wouldn't mind the latest fashion trend,

gain weight and yes, you will feel ugly.

But when you see those eager little eyes looking at you with that toothless grin,

all these insecurities just melts away like ice.

And suddenly, you are the most beautiful woman in the whole world!

Nobody said that motherhood was easy,

but you wouldn't trade the the sloppy kisses, little hugs,

the beautiful memories and yes, the unconditional love

for anything in the world!

To my Mom,

Thank you so much for all the patience and the support

that you have given me through the years of my existence.

Our relationship has always been love-hate

and we argue most of the time,

but now I understand you perfectly.

And I love you even more!

Happy Mother's Day

to all the SUPERMOMS I know!

Cheers!

♥

Mommy Moments Thursday -- Noir et Blanc

Another Mommy Moment on the last Friday of April 2011:

Noir et Blanc

I decided to post Wan's first pics when he was only a few days old.
I was running through some old photos and I stumbled upon this.

It just amazes me how time flies.

Now here is my little boy on his black and white outfit.

So how did your Mommy Moment go?

Cheers!

xxoxx

Mommy Moments Thursday -- RAINBOW BRIGHTS!

Another Mommy Moment Thursday!!!

RAINBOW BRIGHTS

The topic was just awesome and here is our entry.

I collected all of Wan's pics over the past months wearing his bright colorful outfit.

I always loved BRIGHT COLORS for my little boy.

It just makes him stand out!

Another is his collection of multicolored kicks.

Yes, I am a shoeaholic Mum.

And my little boy takes it from me.

Hehe

Wan's a Book Worm at heart as well.

These are his personal faves.

We are just gaga over Eric Carle.

We love his books so much especially the bright colorful pictures!

Happy Mommy Moments!

P.S.

I am sorry for the super late post.

I thought it was already published.

It turned out that I hit the SAVE AS DRAFT button.

Cheers to all the Super Mummies!

Enjoy!

The Weepies on a THURSDAY.

Be My Thrill -- The Weepies

I found this song and these guys while I was browsing through YouTube

looking for something new to listen to.

I found them.

The Weepies.

Their songs were featured in popular TV shows like

Grey's Anatomy, One Tree Hill, Scrubs, Gossip Girl, Kyle XY and How I Met Your Mother.

I listened to all the songs that they have on YouTube

and I am just amazed and amused at the same time.

This song is one of my favorite.

And I dedicate this to the little boy who is

"MY THRILL"

Enjoy.

****

"Be My Thrill"

Be my thrill, my little white pill, my unpaid bill, the one who will
Be my love, my little grey dove, my push and my shove, my heaven above

And we tumble down like Jack and Jill, and I miss all of the joy you kill
But I love you still, be my thrill

Be my one, my day in the sun, my little pop gun, the best thing I've done
Be my what, my open and shut, my everything but, my little hot slut

And every morning is like the one before
And everybody needs someone to adore
I'm counting on you
Oh baby say you will
Oh baby be my thrill

Be my youth, my kissing booth, my little sweet tooth, my beauty and truth
Be my thrill, my little white pill, my wait up until, the one who will

Spy Wednesday.

I wasn't feeling all that NICE today.

There was something that had really upset me when I woke up.

Its just disappointing that people tend to misjudge you.

And worse, if the person who misjudged you was

somebody who you thought knew you better.

The weather's firing up and so is my temper.

Now, here.

ICE CANDY.

To make me feel better.

Yum.