Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Tuesday round up.

I am now up on my feet. After 2 weeks of looking for a job, I finally landed on one. Well I don't really call it a job. Its a sort of a challenge. I think it's about time that I do something productive for myself. Something that can help my badly injured ego.

My boss J is a supermom just like me. And I quite frankly admire MULTI-TASKING MOTHERS. The past 2 weeks was some kind of a big deal to me because I want to be busy. I want to be around. I want to be at my feet. Besides running an online store, I want to be out and about. I find it therapeutic on my part. It keeps me away from the negativity that slowly eats me up when I am by myself. So this new challenge is a therapy. And I like it.

Today, Wan was at his best. He was a real show off. Wiggling and doing his "Fruit-Salad" shake. It was so marvelous that I got teary eyed watching him. These are the moments I wouldn't wanna miss. These are the memories I can never trade in for.

I read a random FTP (Fit to Post) Blog on Yahoo! Philippines this evening: Beauty is in the eye of the baby by Toni Tiu. And I was deeply touched and can totally relate to it. I specifically quote this line that I loved most...

"The feeling of insecurity lasted the whole afternoon. It disappeared however as soon as I got home. My nine-month-old son was playing with his toys when he saw me come into the room. His eyes lit up so beautifully. He dropped his toys, gave me a huge, toothless grin, and began to crawl towards me. There I was with my messy hair, crooked glasses and rumpled shirt, and I felt like the most beautiful person on earth. As my son smothered me with his baby kisses, my heart lifted. I’m beautiful to this little boy, I thought. That’s all that matters. When your son looks at you with those eager eyes, it feels like you can conquer anything. Every insecurity is squished. Every strand of messy hair makes sense. I try to remember my son’s welcoming look when I’m feeling insecure about myself. Balancing beauty and being a new mom is a toughie. I’ll figure this out along the way."

I feel this exact same way every time Wan sees me as I come home. He'd look up and stretches his baby arms the biggest to give me the best baby hug he'd give. I'd smell him through and through. Its his scent that urges me to fly back home after a long day. There are times that whenever I am glued too much on the computer, he comes up to me whining and wants to be carried. Like telling me:"Mum you have to stop cos I miss you!".

The wet sloppy kisses are the best part above the rest. He'd cup my face with his tiny hands and kiss me a thousand baby times. PWAAAH! PWAAH! PWAAH! And like Toni Tiu, it is true that all your insecurities are squished into million little pieces when your son looks at you. I saw that and its the most wonderful feeling I have ever felt in my lifetime. And I am in love with him everyday.